I talked a little bit about my own concerns with breastfeeding in my post breastfeeding bliss. But I never got down to the dirty of the actual truth of breastfeeding the truth who my friend Mik never told me about the truth lactation consultants never told me about, everyone made it seem glorious and magical and the most precious time you will ever have with your baby and it really is all those things. But there's a but...there are ugly truths to breastfeeding and I think breastfeeding moms have conspired to hide these truths from new breastfeeding moms so their club can be bigger then the formula fed moms.
It may hurt
No one felt the need to tell me that not only did my precious bundle of joy would cause me an enormous amount of pain while he was coming into this world but he'd hurt me after he was here, why would anyone hide that from me? Oh we started off great Boo was on my tit for like 24 hours straight I didn't sleep he did with my boob in his mouth and god forbid if I took it out, he'd cry and I'd shove my nipple back in and tell here you can have it I wasn't using it anyways. By the next day though my nipples hurt, oh it made me want to cry I used lanolin and questioned my newborn about his cries for wanting to nurse, I'd ask him are sure its not your diaper, you sure you're not cold, you sure you want my boob? The nurses seen how much time he spent on my boob just seeking comfort and my discomfort that they asked if I wanted a binky, I declined nipple confusion all that jazz I'll just grin and bear it. When I got home I figured with me being comfortable things would change it didn't and every time someone said he wants nenen I'd want to cry and I'd go hide myself away so no one would see that I was truly in pain. The next day after coming home I bought a handful of binkies my nipples needed a break. As if all that wasn't bad enough there would come a point during an end of my breastfeeding session where it felt like my boob was completely deflated I thought it would look like a deflated balloon and the more you tried to suck air out of the balloon it would collapse in on itself and this came with an annoying pain. I was to the point that I would snap at Sob for even saying Boo wants nenen. This lasted about 2 weeks I truly wanted to stop breastfeeding I kept thinking this is a nightmare its not wonderful its painful. But when I woke up one day and as I was cringing as I was getting Boo to latch and to my disbelief it didn't hurt I was in my glory and truly enjoyed that breastfeeding session.
Your milk is a laxative
Oh you're baby wakes up from a nap and is wet...SCORE...your boobs are working, be a good mommy and change that diaper so you can feed your hungry baby. And during that feeding you hear ungodly noises coming from the diaper. Are you kidding, how about I just squirt the milk into the diaper it'll save you the work from supposedly digesting it. You're baby will poop every feeding for the first month or two that means every feeding even the 3am feeding.
You're always hungry
Its 10 am and I've already had 4 pieces of French toast, yogurt and a bowl of leftover dinner and I'm still hungry. How breastfeeding is cheaper I'm not sure cause I can probably eat my weight in food everyday. Miraculously I've lost weight I weighed 100 lbs pre baby I'm down to 95 lbs.
The dreaded breast pump
My enemy. This displayed how much milk I could produce. Sob requested I pump at least one bottle a day so he could feed Boo and I thought it would be a good idea to get a milk supply for eventually spending the night with grandma. I started pumping and then I'd start having an anxiety attack I'd get a tiny bit of milk. It took me all day to get a 2 oz. Bottle. I read and read about pumping I asked my friend Mik for tips and she said I never had a problem, nice way to make me feel good. Let's face it I obviously had a mental problem with the stupid thing so after a month of trying I was more then happy to put it on the shelf.
Your boobs are a super soaker
Your poor baby is hungry and you try to latch him on his mouths open he's ready to eat and then you spray him in the eye and he looks at you like wtf was that for. What's even funnier is when he gets older and learns how to spray himself in the face. Oh the giggles that came that day. You'd think he just got the bestest toy in the world
Your nipples stretch like rubber bands
And your husband thinks its funny. Your baby is eating hears a noise and turns his head without letting go of your nipple. You watch your nipple stretch and stretch some more and when they've reached their physical limits they snap back to place, I swear boo makes mine stretch at least 2in. Sob thinks this is hilarious and will sometimes make a noise on purpose just to see how far my nipple will stretch.
And even without teeth that shit hurts I see the signs pull my nipple out of his mouth say its time to play. Boo starts crying, and I'm the stupid one who gives the boob back, and he chomps down, giggles and then goes back to eating only to do it again. I have tried not to show any reaction but sometimes he catches me by surprise and I yell ow which for some reason makes it even funnier.
You are now a feedbag
If Boo could have it his way he'd be on my boob all day. He eats every hour and a half, he was eating so much his doctor insisted I start food because she thought it would help. Well he eats 3 meals a day numerous snacks and still eats every hour and a half. But by no means is he fluffy, he is bigger then my other babies where at this age but he's a normal size, if truth be told he just loves his nenen. Sometimes I watch him fall on purpose and look at me and start crying I pick him up tell him he's fine and he's giggling while trying to lift my shirt.
They're more clingy
At the end of the day its all worth it and I wouldn't do it any other way. Every baby wearing moment, cosleeping moment, and breastfeeding moment brings me the most pleasure I have ever felt. I don't get a moment off not even in my sleep and I wouldn't have it any other way. Boo is the most precious thing in the world to me and before I know it this time will be over and I'll miss it so much.