Babies seem so cute and harmless how could anybody suspect them of terrorism? That's right I said it. I think they have a hidden agenda to take out one momma at a time. The other day I was having a great day when I noticed Booboo noticing that someone left the bathroom door open. He was doing his fastest monkey crawl to it and I was trying to beat him to shut the door. I swear once I got near him he grabbed my leg he must've been really sick of me and thought it was time to take me out...it really isn't because I'm a klutz. Well I got to the door before him with my face at least. I continued falling to the floor landing on my right pinky and my left elbow. I jumped up once I got my senses back and Boo was sitting behind me smiling. Within minutes my pinky swelled up started bruising and it hurt so bad to move it. That's when I suspected my little Boo was a sleeper agent...so I held him hostage and began my plan of torturing him for the truth. First it was the tickle torture...he didn't give anything up though. Then I kissed every inch of his cheeks, he fought back that time he sucked on my nose. By this time I meant business I wanted the truth so I pulled out my secret weapon a clean diaper. I laid him on the floor and told him he had one more chance to tell the truth or else. He wouldn't talk so I proceeded to change his diaper. He ran away. My efforts failed...but if you suspect your baby of terrorism the tickle torture is the best.
Blogging from my phone sucks. I thought it was great till I realized my pictures were huge when I viewed my blog from my laptop. I guess I'm just disappointed that something that was supposed to be easy has turned into a pain in my ass.
1. It's been 4 days since I took a shower.
2. It's been that many days since I brushed my hair.
3. I smell like rotten milk.
4. I have armpit hair.
5. I have not changed my clothes in three days.
I was reorganizing the freezer today that was my first mistake. I had all the contents sitting on my counter when my precious Boo came in to make sure I was doing a satisfactory job. And his eyes immediately found the ice cream container. He doesn't get ice cream...OK he does but I swear dad started it with me having a cow about it. I picked up the ice cream to put it back and Boo used his banshee scream on me. "No not now" didn't work..."Boo please let me finish just 2 more minutes" was a failure all he cared about was ice cream and he wanted it now. "Fine... You can have your ice cream." Anything as long as it stopped the awful sounds coming from his mouth. While trying to get his spoon of ice cream and begging him to stop that the ice cream was coming I heard a knock at the door and then my neighbor said "what are you doing to that baby" are you flipping kidding me can't you hear I'm preoccupied. "I'm teasing him with his ice cream cause I first had to get it, now I have to tend to the door as he follows me screaming." My neighbor was a bit taken off by my answer but seriously you don't come and knock on someone's door when you hear a baby screaming you'll get to see a pissed off mama that way and if something was wrong you'd know when an ambulance showed up. Boo ended up getting his ice cream finally and sat in the middle of the living room butt bouncing and saying mmmm, his world was perfect once again.
My 9 month old has a ton of toys and lots of musical interactive toys. I bought these in hopes to keep Boo entertained so I could sneak away and get chores done. Boy was I wrong. They entertain me, and they entertain the older kids but have done little to entertain Boo for longer than 20 seconds. Kitchen utensils, keys, remote and cardboard boxes are only a few of the things that you will find laying around my house at any given time. Sure he may like them because he sees me use them but I think our babies are trying to teach us something. The other day I was at Big Lots letting the older kids spend their money and I was picking out Boos toy that he would spend his money on. I seen really cool toys that made noise and would make me want to play with them. Then I seen it it was a set, a shape thing where you match the holes to the right size block, stacking rings, and nesting cups. When we got home he played for 20 minutes.
Is he teaching me? Telling me that the "learning toys" that talk and sing to you are a waste of my money. Is he telling me he'd rather hear me tell him the crab is red instead of some weird guy that lives in the toy? Our babies clearly aren't interested in these things, so why do we buy them we pay a lot of money for them so we can have the next Einstein, but how did Einstein become so smart without them? So we can look like "good" parents? Nothing but the best for my baby, there's no amount of money I won't spend and spend we do and waste we have.
I have found Boos favorite toys are blocks that he loves to knock down and loves trying very hard to put them together. The nesting cups, a matchbox car he shouldn't have but found by mistake and I of course couldn't take it away because he was playing exactly how his big brothers played. Sure he has his own cars they're big, colorful, make clicky noises, jingle and if you pull them backwards they go all by themselves. He likes to chew on those he doesn't play "right" with them but give him a boring matchbox car and my living room becomes the Indianapolis 500. He also loves the cardboard diaper box he uses it as a walk behind, 17 years ago I spent $20 on one so my son could learn to walk he didn't like it till he could actually walk though. If I had known a cardboard box could do the trick I would have saved my money.
Do we just think that babies just like kitchen utensils and keys cause we play with them or are they giving us a hint, its not how much you spend its what they can do with it, they can actually play with these things not watch these things play.
I talked a little bit about my own concerns with breastfeeding in my post breastfeeding bliss. But I never got down to the dirty of the actual truth of breastfeeding the truth who my friend Mik never told me about the truth lactation consultants never told me about, everyone made it seem glorious and magical and the most precious time you will ever have with your baby and it really is all those things. But there's a but...there are ugly truths to breastfeeding and I think breastfeeding moms have conspired to hide these truths from new breastfeeding moms so their club can be bigger then the formula fed moms.
It may hurt
No one felt the need to tell me that not only did my precious bundle of joy would cause me an enormous amount of pain while he was coming into this world but he'd hurt me after he was here, why would anyone hide that from me? Oh we started off great Boo was on my tit for like 24 hours straight I didn't sleep he did with my boob in his mouth and god forbid if I took it out, he'd cry and I'd shove my nipple back in and tell here you can have it I wasn't using it anyways. By the next day though my nipples hurt, oh it made me want to cry I used lanolin and questioned my newborn about his cries for wanting to nurse, I'd ask him are sure its not your diaper, you sure you're not cold, you sure you want my boob? The nurses seen how much time he spent on my boob just seeking comfort and my discomfort that they asked if I wanted a binky, I declined nipple confusion all that jazz I'll just grin and bear it. When I got home I figured with me being comfortable things would change it didn't and every time someone said he wants nenen I'd want to cry and I'd go hide myself away so no one would see that I was truly in pain. The next day after coming home I bought a handful of binkies my nipples needed a break. As if all that wasn't bad enough there would come a point during an end of my breastfeeding session where it felt like my boob was completely deflated I thought it would look like a deflated balloon and the more you tried to suck air out of the balloon it would collapse in on itself and this came with an annoying pain. I was to the point that I would snap at Sob for even saying Boo wants nenen. This lasted about 2 weeks I truly wanted to stop breastfeeding I kept thinking this is a nightmare its not wonderful its painful. But when I woke up one day and as I was cringing as I was getting Boo to latch and to my disbelief it didn't hurt I was in my glory and truly enjoyed that breastfeeding session.
Your milk is a laxative
Oh you're baby wakes up from a nap and is wet...SCORE...your boobs are working, be a good mommy and change that diaper so you can feed your hungry baby. And during that feeding you hear ungodly noises coming from the diaper. Are you kidding, how about I just squirt the milk into the diaper it'll save you the work from supposedly digesting it. You're baby will poop every feeding for the first month or two that means every feeding even the 3am feeding.
You're always hungry
Its 10 am and I've already had 4 pieces of French toast, yogurt and a bowl of leftover dinner and I'm still hungry. How breastfeeding is cheaper I'm not sure cause I can probably eat my weight in food everyday. Miraculously I've lost weight I weighed 100 lbs pre baby I'm down to 95 lbs.
The dreaded breast pump
My enemy. This displayed how much milk I could produce. Sob requested I pump at least one bottle a day so he could feed Boo and I thought it would be a good idea to get a milk supply for eventually spending the night with grandma. I started pumping and then I'd start having an anxiety attack I'd get a tiny bit of milk. It took me all day to get a 2 oz. Bottle. I read and read about pumping I asked my friend Mik for tips and she said I never had a problem, nice way to make me feel good. Let's face it I obviously had a mental problem with the stupid thing so after a month of trying I was more then happy to put it on the shelf.
Your boobs are a super soaker
Your poor baby is hungry and you try to latch him on his mouths open he's ready to eat and then you spray him in the eye and he looks at you like wtf was that for. What's even funnier is when he gets older and learns how to spray himself in the face. Oh the giggles that came that day. You'd think he just got the bestest toy in the world
Your nipples stretch like rubber bands
And your husband thinks its funny. Your baby is eating hears a noise and turns his head without letting go of your nipple. You watch your nipple stretch and stretch some more and when they've reached their physical limits they snap back to place, I swear boo makes mine stretch at least 2in. Sob thinks this is hilarious and will sometimes make a noise on purpose just to see how far my nipple will stretch.
And even without teeth that shit hurts I see the signs pull my nipple out of his mouth say its time to play. Boo starts crying, and I'm the stupid one who gives the boob back, and he chomps down, giggles and then goes back to eating only to do it again. I have tried not to show any reaction but sometimes he catches me by surprise and I yell ow which for some reason makes it even funnier.
You are now a feedbag
If Boo could have it his way he'd be on my boob all day. He eats every hour and a half, he was eating so much his doctor insisted I start food because she thought it would help. Well he eats 3 meals a day numerous snacks and still eats every hour and a half. But by no means is he fluffy, he is bigger then my other babies where at this age but he's a normal size, if truth be told he just loves his nenen. Sometimes I watch him fall on purpose and look at me and start crying I pick him up tell him he's fine and he's giggling while trying to lift my shirt.
They're more clingy
At the end of the day its all worth it and I wouldn't do it any other way. Every baby wearing moment, cosleeping moment, and breastfeeding moment brings me the most pleasure I have ever felt. I don't get a moment off not even in my sleep and I wouldn't have it any other way. Boo is the most precious thing in the world to me and before I know it this time will be over and I'll miss it so much.
Have you ever tried keeping two hyperactive boys and a baby quiet. Its not possible...Sob has been on 2nd shift for 4 days and I'm ready to pull my hair out or possibly climb the bell tower. Its stressful beyond imagination. I beg and plead for whispers and empty my kitchen of plastic bowls, cups anything Booboo can play with to keep him entertained and from getting bored and crying. By the time the bus gets here I'm ready for a nap because I've ran around shushing everyone. 12 more days...that's all I have left then back to my normal schedule and normal annoyingly loud house.